Elizabeth Bennet

suspicion of Darcy

         Luckily, my young and naive sister Lydia has married Mr. Wickham. After Lydia ran away with Mr. Wickham to Scotland, I was positive my sister was going to return unmarried and put sham on our family for the rest of our lives. I had regret for not warning my family of Wickham’s past, but thankfully, Lydia married him.

        Mr. Gardiner sent me a letter with all the details of why Mr. Wickham decided to marry my sister. Apparently, Darcy gave Wickham the dowry for the wedding because he didn’t want to see my family’s reputation fall apart. Why would he do this? 

       Was it in Darcy’s intention to help my sister, or help me? Could it be that Darcy still has feelings for me? After my rejection of his proposal it is highly doubtful. We haven’t even spoken since the day he proposed. I don’t blame him if he has no feelings left for me. He would never propose again, especially if it meant being in the same family as Wickham. 

My Father

          Today, I started to think about my father and who he truly is. I have never really thought about him in this way before.

          My father is a kind man and we have a special relationship. I know he wants what is best for me as his favorite daughter. Everyone knows the bond between him and I is special. He is not the greatest husband to my mother. I see the way he treats my mother so unfairly. He finds humor in everything she does, but not in a kind and caring way. He makes fun of her frantic personality. 

         My father has his flaws and only I can see the details of his mistakes. No one can understand my father like I can.  

Mr. Darcy proposed

The other day, out of no where, Mr. Darcy proposed to me. Nothing surprised me more than that! I didn’t understand what had gotten into him. After Wickham had told me his story about the Darcy family and how they wouldn’t give him the money, I was so against Darcy and his conciet. And Darcy destroyed my sister’s chance with Mr. Bingley. But then, I recieved his letter…
In Darcy’s letter, he told me the real story behind Wickham. Wickham was promised money by Mr. Darcy’s father and did recieve it and was supposed to use it for law school. The Darcy’s gave him more money to become a priest, but waisted that too. Wickham used Darcy and his family for their money and Darcy simply said he couldn’t have anymore.
Darcy did ruin my sisters chances with Mr. Bingley, but he did it for a reason. He saw how fake the relationship between them really seemed. He wasn’t certain Jane was 100% into the relationship. He didn’t want his friend to suffer in a relationship he wouldn’t be happy in, so he was being a good friend by telling Mr. Bingley something wasn’t right. It turns out he was wrong because my sister really does like Mr. Bingley, but it was all a misunderstanding.
I have never been so confused in my entire life. What do i believe? I feel awful for judging Darcy so quickly and not considering his side of both stories.

Charlotte and Mr. Collins

Today, my best friend Charlotte agreed to marry Mr. Collins, the same man who proposed to me but I said no. My mother, Mrs. Bennet is furious with the decision Charlotte made. Mr. Collins gets to keep our land as soon as he marrys a woman, and my mother isnt happy it is my best friend who is also from a lower class and will now own our home.
I spoke to Charlotte and she told me the reasons for her saying yes to Mr. Collins’ proposal. We both now she isn’t a romantic woman and she confessed that she didn’t marry for love. She married because she is getting older and is expected to marry as soon as possible. All she asks for is a comfortable home with a husband that can support her future family. Charlotte isn’t the kind of girl to find love, but has knowledge of what is important for her and her family.
I’m not thrilled with Charlotte’s decision, considering my mother’s anger towards me for saying no, but at east Mr. Collins moved on from me. Now I won’t have to worry about him proposing to me anymore. That’s a relief.

Mystery

        It turns out my best friend Charlotte has agreed to marry Mr. Collins. Since when does he like her? That man sure does jump from woman to woman rather quickly. I am worried with my mothers reaction being so high tempered, but I am in great relief because this means he won’t be asking me to get married anymore. 

       Now my only worry is, should I trust Mr. Wickham? The day I met him, he was being a bit TOO comfortable with what he was telling me, which seemed a little odd, but he seems so kind and gentleman like i can’t help but almost believe his story. He told me his situation with the Darcy family and how Mr. Darcy, the father, promised to give him money, but changed his mind and took the money for himself. Darcy and Wickham seem to be cold around each other. When I tried to bring Wickham up in a conversation with Darcy, Darcy completely ignored and lacked commentary. Something is going on here. 

The Proposal

        Today, my worst fear came to life. Mr. Collins proposed to me and everything started to move so quickly. I didn’t know whether to laugh histerically or cry of embarrassment for the fact that such an awkward man could have the courage to want to spend the rest of his life with me, Elizabeth Bennet. We both knew happiness can’t grow from this kind of relationship, so fast and unknown. Someone had to make that clear, so in my right mind, I said no. I told him neither he nor I could make each other happy. He is convinced since Lady Catherine approves of me that it is the right idea to marry me, and for the fact that it sets an example of marriage as a clergyman. 

       My mother, Mrs. Bennet was furious with my refusal to Mr. Collins. She told me if I DON’T marry him, I’ll never see or speak to her again. My father, on the other hand, thinks opposite. If I DO marry Mr. Collins, my father said he will never speak to me again. At least my father has to same opinion as I do when it comes to judging Mr. Collins. Either way, one of my parents will end up not talking to me again.